To the Mama about to be





How exciting!  It is such a life changing event.  There are so many wonderful things that happen when you become a  mama, some not so wonderful things and some downright terrifying things (not to scare you too much just yet though).  Most of the well-meaning advice generally focuses on the ‘sleep while you can – it’ll be years before you sleep properly again’ and ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ – when exactly is that again?

 

Helpful tip #1.  When I was expecting my first baby, the most practical advice I was given was to wear them in a baby carrier.  This was helpful for a number of reasons but mainly your baby wants to be close to you.  It’s a scary world out here, far from the comfort and safety of mama’s belly.  While they are able to be close to you, your arms are free, allowing you to do something else (‘more productive’) at the same time, such as hanging washing, dishes, looking after other young children or running your own business.  Girls growing up from the 1980s onwards were told that we could ‘have it all’, so now we’re trying to ‘have it all’ without ‘doing it all’.

 

Helpful tip #2 is to try and be prepared food wise.  Fill the freezer with your favourite meals so you can defrost, heat and eat.  Being prepared like this means that you can reduce the mental load, even just a fraction in those first few days and weeks.  Future you will be thanking you!  Also take the time to think ahead snack and drink wise and try and stock up on that before baby arrives.  If you do successfully breast feed, it is important to keep your fluid intake up and snacks can be a great way to get some food in, especially if you find yourself skipping meals all the time.

 

Helpful tip #3 is to learn to discern good advice from bad.  Does the person giving you this piece of advice know your personal situation or are they making (a lot of) assumptions?  I once had a sleep consultation for my newborn because I could NOT get my baby to sleep during the day.  At this point I was already mixed feeding (both breast and bottle feeding).  At one point during the consultation, the person who was supposed to be giving me advice on my baby’s sleep would not pass me the bottle of milk to feed my baby, insisting that I try to breast feed again and again despite my baby getting more and more distressed.  Had I taken heed of their advice in regards to the breast feeding, it could so easily have led down a different path.  That person did not know or understand my situation, or the path I had already travelled, and no, I did not get any sleep advice either!  So learn to discern good advice from the so-so and downright bad advice that will inevitably come your way.

 

Helpful tip #4.  You don’t know what you don’t know.  There are so many facets of pregnancy and birth that are not discussed.  There will be some surprises, both good and bad.  Enjoy the good and ride out the bad. 

 

Helpful tip # 5.  As my children have gotten older and moved through different developmental phases, know that they pass.  “This too shall pass” is a good mantra for those tough moments.  What challenges you face today and tomorrow will be forgotten next week, month or year.  Have Mum friends that are both ahead of and behind you on this motherhood journey.  Those ahead of you are full of hard-won wisdom and guidance about what to expect and are only happy to pass on encouragement and words of wisdom.  The ones behind you, need your encouraging and wise words.  The paths that we, as modern mamas must navigate are ever changing and change is at such a rapid pace.  Once, the wisdom and encouraging words would be passed down from mother to daughter, the world is evolving so quickly, that that is no longer possible.  For context, twenty years ago Facebook was in its own infancy and now we have a plethora of social media platforms to teach our children to navigate.

 

The most important piece of advice though?  Hold on and enjoy the wild rollercoaster of a ride you have embarked on.

 

What has been the best and worst advice you’ve been given?  What did you wish you knew about motherhood/parenthood beforehand?  Comment below.

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